FRANCE!" and rant.

I have been to france with my family and Spencer, it was ok.

Weather was nice, sunny YAY not like at home.
<--- thats a teeny frog/toad i found, i wanted to take hime home :(


Overall holiday was a success i guess, i couldnt help but want to kill my brother though!"

On saturday I am going back to portsmouth and i can not wait!"
Out of cornwall, back to work, friends and Uni. I will have 2 new housemates when i get back, 1 i already no and 1 who i havent met but she seems nice and ive spoken to her alot on msn.

Moneys tight due to not having a job this summer, that leads me on to the conversation I had with my friend Hannah at lunch today, I get a small amount more than her as her parents earn more but someone we both know gets the full bursery, the lot every scrap of money u can get, alot of which doesnt have to be paid back. WHY? Not beacuse her parents work hard and earn little like alot of people, but because neither of her parents work, one is perfectly healthy the other can seem to do anything but work. This brings the question of is that fair? And why should what loans we get be reflected on our parents earnings? After all arent we all 18 and above, classing us as adults and so shouldnt what are parents earn having nothing to do with it, whos to say that becasue your parents earn more they will help you out more?


Rant over.

:)

Uxbridge.

Im doing Ok, I still can't find a job, Im still struggerling but Im Ok.

Im going up to Uxbridge to see Spencer, i need to I think.

xx

When times hurt bad........

There are times when i want to cry, untill like alice in wonderland i fill a room, the thing is sometimes its so irrational how upset i am. I look at what i have, an amzzzzzzing boyfriend i loved loads, im at uni, i have good grades, a job in portsmouth...... So why is it i get soooooooooo upset.

Right now i feel empty and alone, saddened by nothing in particular.


I wish to be like someone who feels happy at good things and sad at sad things.

Bipolar fucking sucks i dont care what you say.

:(

Download festival '09

Sooooooooo........ Just a latest update.

Been to Download festival!" I have to say it was actually amazing, i have never consumed so much alcohol and live music all at once. Started drinking on the coach on the way there on the thursday and didnt stop till the early hours of monday morning.

I think the Highlights have to be Slipknot, Billy Talent, Hollywood Undead, Motley Crue, Bring me the Horizon and Dragonforce amongst others. Also I think using knickers as a flag for are tent area(which may i add got stolen.) and creating sum sort of shit mix soup with to many spirits in it where also pretty imense moments. The fact i got to spend four days with some really great people and an amazing boyfriend all added to the AWSOMENESS!" :D I dont have much to say about the low points other than Marilyn Manson was a big let down, Shame as i looked forward to seeing him.

Hopeing next years line up will be good so i can go again!"

Peace out.

For Sale

Just selling some limited edtion prints, etchings on watercolour paper individually watercoloured.

£10 each leave me a message if anyone intrested or whats anything done.

love

Zuri has pjs

The latest Zuri zebra i made wearing her striped pjs.

ZURI

So this is Zuri zebra in her pj's.

So i have written a childrens book to illustrate.....

Zuri the Zebra.

Pg 1 Zuri was a zebra or at least that’s what she was told, for Zuri looked different to the other zebras as she was born with no stripes.

Pg 2 One day Zuri decided to go out in search of her stripes, along the way she bumped into Timothy the tiger. Timothy has stripes, she thought. So she went and asked, “do you have my stripes?” Timothy replied, “no, I only have tiger stripes.”

Pg 3 So on Zuri went when she met Leo the lemur. “Do you have my stripes?” She asked. “I’m afraid I only have my tail stripes,” said Leo. “Maybe you should visit Billy the bee, he has some stripes.”

Pg 4 So once again on Zuri trotted until she found Billy the bee, and again she asked, “do you have my stripes?” “I’m sorry but I only have buzzy bee stripes,” replied Billy.

Pg 5 Now Zuri was beginning to feel sad, but she didn’t give up for she had spotted Sally the skunk. Sally has black and white stripes like the other zebras, thought Zuri. So Zuri once again asked the question, “do you have my stripes?” But Sally skunk replied with, “no, I only have my smelly skunk stripes.”

Pg 6 Zuri began to head back home when she saw a little girl wearing stripes. The girl walked over and told Zuri her name was Harriet and that she had something for Zuri. Wow, thought Zuri, and for the final time asked, “do you have my stripes then?” Harriet replied “I don’t have your stripes but what I do have is my old striped Pyjamas, would you like them?” “Oh yes please!” Cried Zuri

Pg 7 "Thank you!” She shouted as she ran to play with the other zebras, happy now that she had her own stripes.

The end.

Brothers visit.

So my littlew brother has come to visit, just till Sunday.

Took him to the cinema last nigh to see benjamin button, cant say it was an overly brilliant film, had a very similar structure as Forest gump but no where near as good. It was to long really, 2 and half hours.

Wandere down to the beach today then along to gunwharf and went up spinnaker tower.

Just a photograph of the boys walking on the glass floor, i was to much of a scardy cat to walk on it. :)

Its been a good day.

:D

Friends.

always there when you need them, even when things are a complete fucking mess.

dont ever take them for granted.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

So those days when you feel angry, angry at life, angry at everyone who says anything from nice day isnt it to how are you?


It is so aggrevating, so your at uni working away on something or other, you cooked roast last night so you expect the boys would of done the dishes, you come home a bit annoyed uni work didnt quite go as planned but never mind.

BAM!"

you walk into the kitchen where theres dishes everywhere, and general mess, how annoyed are you? FUCKING FURIOUS right now, i mean 2 boys home all day!" you think they would be able to stray away from there latops for long enough to at least do something!"


aaaarrrggghhh someone explain to m e why things aggrevate me so much because its beginning to genuinely affect everything i do.

now im in that dilemma of i want to go clean the dishes n kitchen as i hate to look at it like that or leave it for them to do but have to look at that discusting mess!"

sorry im ranting but GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

box boy

like those days when u want to hide away, see no one, do nothing.

UPS and DOWNS

You no when one minute your happy the next minute your sad.

i hate that, im laughing then im crying, it makes me feel truelly pathetic. I okish now.
went for a walk today to the beach, the sun was outit was nice to be out of the house.

I have truelly the best boyfriend ever for putting up with theway i am. i couldnt ask for better really!"

x

SNOW

snow snow snow snow

happy happy hypo

small hypo last night resulting in being completly and utterly awake until gone 7 in the morning.

im in a very cheery mood today, yay.

lah lah lah lah di dah.

The excitement of the day.

was that i got my lip pierced, which surprizingly didnt hurt!"

i didnt look at the needle thou.

they made it numb first to which may be y it didnt hurt!"

oh well im happy, and the numbing stuff tastes like bannana. mmmmmmmmmmmm YUM YUM!"

Today..................

i realized many things, number
1. i hated kfc and it was a good thing to have quit i spoke to my mum and all is good.

2. Godd friends make a day go much quicker and can help u get work done and cheer you up.

3. Even if someone is far aware they can still talk to u on the fone and make u giggle ans smile and be happy when things arent quite as you would like them to be.

ALL in ALL todays been surprizingly good!"

QUIT JOB

I dont know what im going to do now but i truelly have had enogh of people who wont lisen when i say i cant work then as i have uni, or ive been here since 9 i finish at 4 its now 6 ive had no break no i wont stay till 11 sorry.

ergghhh

:(

http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/

DISAPOINTMENT

is something i really cant deal with.

and i hate liers.

i hate my house mates and i hate portsmouth.

i want my mum, i want my old home and i want to see the sea.


i hate kfc too.

but i love one thing that seems to just wind me up.

spencers bk today!"

yay!"

cant wait!"

iv missed him loads!" hate it wen hes gone things have been abit edgy last copule of days!"

things arent great at home, tend to keep that to myself.

spencer <3

:)

teeth cleaning ocd

Just a quick drawing, think it somes up very well me.

I have this weird obsession with cleaning my teeth. If i had my way id take my toothbrush everywhere, it gets worse when im hyper or nervous. I am constantly paranoid that my mouth is dirty. At one point i was cleaning them about 15 times a day minimum when i was back home, this has cut down but i still have a bit of thing about it.

dealing with bipolar

i think the worst thing about having bipolar is the lows, you can cope with the his but the lows are bad bad things. The feeling of worthlessness isnt very nice. But then when your hyper people just thibk ur being an idiot!"

i dont like them much. they make me feel sad.

Between 10 and 20% of people with bipolar disorder will take their own life. Up to a third will make a suicide attempt, and i am not to be one of them!" i have a amazing boyfriend who i love to bits and i can get threw those bad times!"

i think the main thing is people need to just understan what its like sometimes, its a very comman misconception that we are either happy or sad but sometimes your neither either or, your heads just mashed with emotions.

It is hard when doctors who dont reallyunderstand or care just want to wack u on medicatio like that will instantly cure it. Also the misconceprtion that i can be treated with anti depressants is a bad one, as this can often make it woese, it can be treated with mood stabilisers but this should not be an instant cure and wont be for that matter.

http://www.bipolaraware.co.uk/

Hansel and Gretel.

Nicolas Di Genova.

Nicholas Di Genova has to be one of my most favourite artists, this is a guy who inspires so much of my work. Anyone who is interested in animals and combining more than one animal together should take a look.

www.mediumphobic.com

NEW TO ALL OF THIS

Well i supose im new to all of this........

Im Posy,

more than anything i like to draw and lisen to music thats what makes me happy. :)